When nothing I did worked

(an email from Perry Marshall)

Did you ever have some relative or teacher or parent or grandma
or grandpa or friend who would always say, "Buddy, you're
really gonna BE somebody. You're gonna make it. You're gonna
make a big dent in the world. You're going to be successful some
day. I believe in you."

They would make you feel so good, so confident, so inspired.

Then later on....

You wake up one morning - or maybe you receive some
phone call or orange envelope from your bank - and say
to yourself, "What on EARTH was he talking about? I am
getting absolutely NOWHERE!"

You look in the mirror and say to yourself, "I'm good
enough, I'm smart enough, and people like me"

...and then you think to yourself "This is total BS. Who
you kidding, pal?"

Until I was almost 30, very little that I attempted
to do in business ever really worked at all.

I got to experience my first of many firings at age 21 (someday
I'll tell you that story, it's very funny, it's funny NOW but
it wasn't funny then)... there was the whole Amway saga,
which never made me any money - despite superhuman
persistence including 118 NO's in a row.

After college I went into engineering, designing car
speakers. And yes while I designed speakers for the
94 Ford Probe, the 95 Acura Vigor, the 95 Jeep Cherokee
and the 96 Honda Civic, none of my "really interesting"
projects - the ones I truly put my heart into - ever saw the
light of day.

For example the speakers I designed for the Civic were
actually really crappy speakers because Honda had
these rigid requirements and they rejected this super
cool design that I cooked up for them.

The only reason they were even buying from us at all
was some law about foreign vs. US parts content in the
cars.

Most projects I worked on got shelved. Eventually I
got laid off.

Then I went into sales and my boss Wally said "Now this
guy Perry, this is a sales guy waiting to happen." Wally hired
me right away. Super great guy. And Wally waited... and waited...
and waited....

Every single major deal I worked on failed to close and
finally 2 years later Wally gave up on me.

It's pretty depressing when every item on your resume is,
truth be told, a dead end story with no real results to brag
about.

Every time I'd walk in the door at 9:30 in the morning
and tell Laura I'd been fired again, she'd encourage me
and tell me she believed in me and I'd march out into the
raging blizzard of life one more time and try again.

Man did she ever put up with a lot.

This eventually forced me to do some pretty serious
soul searching. I was a square peg trying very hard to
shove myself into round holes.

See, the thing was, everything I was trying to do was
ALMOST right. It was ALMOST a fit.

Just not quite.

I started looking real hard at what about be a perfect fit.
I didn't need no sex change operation; just a reshuffling of the
details:

-I needed to be in a place where my writing ability was
put to good use. None of my jobs had ever had any place for it.
-I needed a sales job where my technical skills were an asset,
not a liability.
-I needed to be able to use marketing as a tool to position
myself as a problem-solver instead of a peddler trying to
schmooze purchasing agents.

I got real clear about those things and started looking for a
spot that would satisfy those criteria.

You know what? When you get super clear about what
you want, it gets real easy to ELIMINATE all the stuff you
don't want. You've gotta get ruthless about not compromising
on that.

I'm not saying be a prima donna. I'm saying, be willing to
WALK AWAY from situations where you know you're just
going to be a square peg in a round hole all over again.

A few months later, the right opportunity presented itself.
It just FELT right. And it matched the criteria.

Suddenly it was easy to sell stuff because I was positioned
properly and not fighting my own nature anymore. The very
first commission check was the biggest I'd ever gotten.

The negativity was suddenly reversed. A positive spiral
began that continues to this day.

This did NOT instantly solve all of my problems, but the
texture of everything was different after that. My assets
were no longer liabilities. They were assets.

I couldn't possibly overemphasize how important it is to
really know yourself. Because you know what?

The things that have gotten you in the most trouble are
probably the very things that make you successful. The
things that annoy people the most about you are the things
that are most impressive about you.

When you're in "the zone" you create mischief.

Or...

When you're in "the zone" you create magic.

Mischief and Magic, they're usually two sides of the same
coin.

One works against you, the other works for you. I cannot
overstate how big the difference is.

You wouldn't be reading this email if you weren't a misfit like
me. If you were a happy little conformist you'd be blithely
involved in some bureaucratic meeting, performing your
assigned role. Not reading this email.

The reason you're out on the Internet working to find your
fortune is because you're a geek and a freak and a misfit
just like me.

Only a misfit would still be reading this email right now.

Be proud of it.

Know thyself, and: Harness your talent for creating mischief.

Don't apologize for who you are or what you're trying to
become. Just become MORE of what you already are.

Be more of who you are and find the people in the world
who want that.

Seize the Day.

Can We Be Real Friends?

I always ask myself this question whenever I invite or get invited to be a friend with someone I’d “virtually” meet online. I have more than 600 friends in Facebook, more than 300 in Linkedin and a couple more in Friendster. I’d say, of almost 1,000 friends – social or professional – I have personally met only 100 of them. Is that a bad thing?

Technology has driven the way we communicate and associate with people. When what was supposed to create more time and space for us to be “free” has actually caused us to cram more things into our lives. Now, our lives are so cluttered that we don’t even have real time for real people.

Time is a valuable commodity. Sadly, it’s not renewable. We can’t even buy it. No matter how much money or connections we have, we simply can’t influence time. True to the old adage, time waits for no one. Thus, given just a few minutes to socialize, we meet, greet and keep our friends in online space. Then again, are they real friends?

We have used the online social and professional networks to connect and reconnect. We’ve found former classmates, officemates, friends, and maybe even lost loves. With photos and albums galore, we have found a way to share our lives to others. We have found virtual space to share our trials, triumphs, notes, journals, status, availability, ability, faith and hopes. These are the things that remind us of our needs as human beings.

I love coffee shops. They were made for personal conversations. They were created so we can just sit around, enjoy a cup of coffee and watch people and the world go by. Like the coffee that warms your lips, coffee shops make you feel the warmth of people around you. Friends that you make over a meal or a cup of coffee are seemingly for real. Yes, they can also break your heart. But they’re for real. What you see is what you get.

What about my online friends – are they for real, too? I’m talking about friends whom I have never personally met in my entire life. It’s either I invite them or they invite me. After which, I say a casual “hi” or greet them on their birthdays. I also comment on their notes, blogs, journals or status. I just want to somehow interact with them, even if it will only take me a few seconds or minutes of my time. As long as I have shared a bit of my time with them, I consider them as friends. Well, I am for real. I don’t really care if they aren’t.

Guess what? I have made some real friends online. I have even been invited to their birthdays, weddings and family gatherings. I’ve even godfathered some in their weddings and children’s Christenings.

Technology may have changed the way we interact with others today. What hasn’t changed is the need (read as: urge) to genuinely connect. Hopeful that every human being we meet online is the real deal, we’ll never stop connecting and reconnecting. We were wired to be social beings. That’s who we are. So, I guess it won’t really matter if my online friend is genuine as long as I know I am. That is my nature. Maybe even human nature. That is what really matters. I have a conscience. I have a heart. Most of all, I have a soul. Now that's for real.